Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
