U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
