we made out on top of his cat.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
last night I used snow as a chaser
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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