She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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