Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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