Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
