When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
