Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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