the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
