it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
handjob tips. give me some.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
