We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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