Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
