you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
