that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
