Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
