pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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