Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
