So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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