there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
operation have a gay friend backfired
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
