I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
