On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
