just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
