hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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