I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
