I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
