You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
