You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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