she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize