someone owes me an orgasm
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
