Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
That's how pantless uber rides happen
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
