Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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