I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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