Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
