VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
