I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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