His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My dick has a subreddit
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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