I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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