Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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