Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he wants to bone in the snuggie
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
