Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
