She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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