Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize