would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
