you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize