I'm jealous of your bromance
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I wish you could order shots online.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize