They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
