where am i from again
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
