I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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