You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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