My nipple is on Facebook.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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