took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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