Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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