Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
