Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My Higher Power is John Stamos
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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