a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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