I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
