Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i would one night stand the shit outta him
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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