Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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