today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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