Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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